I Remember
by Mizer Manakins
Summary: Yama ignored Tai's affections and never told him how he really felt. After three years, the brunette shows up unexpectedly and Yama decides to tell him before he loses him again. Taito.


**I Remember **

**By Mizer Manakins**

**Manakins (Mah-nah not Man-uh!) says**: This is one of those one shots that pop up right in the middle of writing a big fic, so I guess I'll just post it now, k? Read O.M.Memoir if you have the time, but this is probably better anyway. I know Memoir's kinda bumpy, but it'll get better later on!

**Dedication:** This story is for LonelyWalker, my wonderful reviewer! You said you'd read my one shots and since 'Cendrillon' is kinda in the process of being made a multi chapter, this is so much more you! My other is Utena, anyway. You, being a Digimon fanatic, would probably enjoy this more anyway.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Digimon, duh! I'd be rich if I did, which I AM NOT. Don't sue me. You don't WANT my Malice Mizer CD! It's scratched! That's about all I've got that has any value…

**Warnings:** Just some shonen ai. Taito!

* * *

I never expected him of all people to show up there. My band and I had a gig in a bar, 'Haley's', and I never would have thought that my childhood friend would ever set foot in it. He just never seemed the type. 

But I guess he knew I would be there.

I was helping the guys set up the stage, and as I helped adjust the speakers, he waltzed in the door, his presence washing over the room like some revered god. He always had been one for attention, and with his divine looks there was no way he couldn't be. The first thing I thought was that I had to be imagining it, but there was no mistaking that hair, for in all my traveling, I had never seen one who keeps his hair so unruly, yet still looks as great as he does. I remember how he used to tease me about how much time I would spend just to get my blonde tresses in perfect order.

"_Hey, Yama, so how many cans of hairspray did you use today? You know, I'm quite the environmentalist, and things like that sure don't turn me on!"_

And I also remember how I would always have something to say.

"_Tai, do you even know what 'environmentalist' means?"_

I remember how he would laugh as he tried to defend himself. I remember all this, but I couldn't think of how to approach him. Lucky for me, I didn't have to.

He looked around the room, and I saw his face light up as soon as our eyes met. I mumbled an apology to my fellow band mate helping with setup, and I nodded in acknowledgement towards my bushy haired friend as he crossed the room in my direction.

"Hey, Yama. It's been a long time, ne?"

"Yeah, real long." I responded, not feeling at all comfortable with this. I remember why we hadn't seen each other, and dormant feelings for him that I would have rather forgotten rose to the surface.

"_Yamato… I'm not exactly sure what to tell you… I guess it's nice you have a girlfriend, but why Sora?"_

"_Tai…" _

I remember the pain in his voice, but I didn't know what to do. I was young and confused, and suddenly he wants to know why I'm dating a girl who doesn't seem all that interested. I just couldn't tell him, but he would figure it out soon enough.

"_What? You know you don't like her… And she doesn't really like you, so why?" the brunette's voice rose_

"_Tai… I can't accept your feelings. I just don't know how."_

"_So you're saying you are going out with Sora so you could avoid the subject of my feelings toward you!"_

I remember the pain in my own heart as I denied his affection.

I remember how afraid I was to be committed to him.

I remember that I loved him deeply, but I was always too proud to admit it.

"_Taichi, be rational!"_

"_I don't want to be! She doesn't deserve you! You're too good for her, Yama… I don't want us to be like this… I'm leaving."_

"_What are you talking about! It'll all work out, I promise! We're best friends for life, ne? Ne, Tai?"_

"_I'm going, and I don't want any regrets… so I am not gonna say something stupid… you'd just laugh at me."_

I remember watching him walk out of my life for what I thought would be forever.

But now he's here.

"So, Yama, you've got a band. That's great… Just what you wanted."

"Yeah, I guess." Not everything I wanted, but I blew that chance long ago.

"You got a family?"

I shook my head. I hadn't dated much since he left. "You? What have you been up to?"  
He smiled. Oh, that smile…

"Nothing, really. Got to college on a soccer scholarship. I always thought it woulda been you in college, ya know? So… how is she?"

"She?… Oh…" I didn't want to talk about her. It had been three years since I last saw him, and bringing up old things like that might just drive him away. "Tai, you remember why you left, right?"

"How could I forget?" I bit my lip. He suddenly seemed extremely interested in the dark ceiling above us, and I wasn't sure if I should have brought it up at all. I noticed the room was filling up fast. I wouldn't have much time to talk before the show.

"If you'd rather not talk about it…"

"No, really I think we should. Matt, my feelings haven't changed, no matter how hard I tried to forget you. I would try to think of all the things I hated about you, but I just couldn't think of any of them…"

"Tai… I… I lied."

"You…what?"

"Yamato! We gotta get started now!"

"Look, Tai… I'm really sorry about all the trouble I might have caused you after you left… but really I-"

"Yamato! We're on now!"

I shook my head as I apologized. "Sorry about this, Tai… I wrote you a song."

I hurried onto stage and grabbed the mic.

"How's everyone doing tonight?" I cued the drummer, and we started our first song of the night. The stage lights were pretty crappy at this establishment, and I could actually see the audience members, including one certain brunette in the back staring at me. I tried to avert my eyes from his, but most of the time I found I was looking in the exact direction he was in.

Somehow I made it through the prepared list of songs, until we reached the last number. The song I had written for him and him alone… If only I had known he would be here… Harold Zidler, I told myself. The show must go on.

_The last blue sky I saw was the day you walked out_

_A thousand wishes on our star never brought you back_

_My words to you stayed the same._

_Regrets piled up in my heart, all the times I lied_

_The absence of your beauty left me alone,_

_This hateful world surrounding me._

_I'll never rest in peace until I say these words to you._

_You haunt me every day, every night, every second_

_My world has been empty since that fateful day_

_My dreams mean nothing_

_My love for you will never die._

_Did you ever think of me?_

_Because I can't get you out of my mind._

_Does beauty exsist outside my world anymore?_

_Your light is gone._

_The world is dark._

_It's all the loss of you, my love._

I looked out over the crowd, and there he was. He knew what that was. He knew it was his song, and the look on his face was something I would never forget. He pushed his way through the people and waited for me backstage. I hurried and ended the performance, said goodnight, and as the audience started heading for the exit, I headed for my dear Taichi.

I saw him, standing there, and I couldn't help but run to him.

"Dammit, Yama! Why the hell didn't you tell me?" He demanded as he embraced me tightly. Suddenly it seemed like my world was coming together somehow.

"Tai, I was scared. I was young! Commitment was a big thing!"

"You bastard! Do you still feel the same about that?"

"Hell no!" I said, placing a kiss on his lips.

He was blushing. It was obvious, even in the dim lighting.

"So, Yama, was that a for me to remember you by, or are you here to stay?"

"I'm not the one who left in the first place. But if you're here, it doesn't really matter any more. God, I missed you so freaking much! But wait… what about college? You said you got in…"

"It was a two-year. I'm out."

How he ended up with me is still a mystery to this day, but I really don't care. I'll never have to remember the him of the past anymore when I have him with me to stay.

* * *

**Manakins says some more:**Look! No Sorabashing! I just had her goingout with Matt in the past, and theyreally were just friends, k?God, that last piece of fluff wasn't in my original plan, but it works, I guess. I would have been writing O.M.Memoir, but… I was kinda put off track by some… angry reviewers. Besides, I'm kind of in a rut of how to move the plot along… I'll sleep on it. Maybe I'll get some ideas. For those of you who are reading this who have also read Memoir, thank you for actually coming back! For those of you just tuning in, thank you for even choosing to read my work at all! I hope you all enjoyed it. 

BTW, yes I did write Yama's song. I recently read the reminder about putting song lyrics into fics when you did not own the song, so I wrote these. It took me three or four times to get it right, though. I don't have a name for it, so…

R&R onegai!

Ja

Mizer Manakins


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